Apr 22, 2009

i'm back!

Great news! My test results are back and I do not seem to have an autoimmune disease.

After a two-hour evaluation in the 'big city' nearby, the mood disorder specialist agreed with my psychiatrist that I am a "difficult diagnosis". I have no history of mania, but never really respond to antidepressants fully. Unipolar depression? Bipolar? Not depression at all? My main issue is fatigue, but hard to tell if it is physical or mood related. Great.

And so, my next stop is a date with Adderall or Modafinal. I really don't care what they put me on if it gets me out of bed and moving around again.

I've decided that my goal this summer is to run a 5 km race. This should be interesting as I am currently struggling to walk 20 minutes with my dogs without sitting down to rest. But hey, it's good to have a goal.

I've been remembering all of the things that used to be part of my life - playing in a punk rock band, rock climbing, traveling (and seeing more than just the hotel room). It is time to get my life back.

Today I am going to hit the treadmill and try to run/walk for a few minutes.

Here I go!!


  1. Good luck! Baby steps, baby steps - and you'll do it!

  2. That's great news! And on the running, expect that it will feel like crap for the first month or so. It can be SO hard to get out the door. You'll get better gradually, I'm sure. Maybe you have "atypical" depression.

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  4. That is super great news!!! Take it easy dear one!

  5. An awful lot of people with autoimmune diseases are diagnosed with "depression" 5-7 years before the AI makes itself known. Glad to hear that they at least took a look. Hang in there.

  6. I took a tricyclic for the mood stuff, but it was EXCELLENT for all that stuff too.

    How did you get into a physical workup? I am wondering if I need one (never really had one, just always assumed I was crazy), but had a great reaction to a beta blocker, so started wondering.

    I just found your blog now, and enjoying it.

  7. Hi all, I just wanted to thank you for all of your comments and well-wishes. Despite my long rest from blogging, it was nice to know that there were people cheering for me.

    SadAltarEgo - I asked my doctor for a referral to the Toronto Mood Disorders clinic. No big revelations came from it, but it did confirm a lot of what I already suspected. I really enjoy your blog too and hope that you are feeling better.