Oct 27, 2010

facing my fears

I sent my thesis outline to my advisors last night. It shouldn't have been a big deal - just a sketch of my plans to get our conversation started...and yet...I could not start writing.

After reading over 200 articles on my topic, I'm a walking library on physician-patient relationships - but I am terrified to put my thoughts to paper.


Because I failed before. I received an F on a paper I did in my first year of the program during one particularly bad struggle with brain fog.

It was humiliating. I started to doubt that I belonged in the program. And for some reason it is still haunting me.

Even though...
- I graduated with distinction in my undergrad program
- Received A's in all but one course (A-) in my masters
- Managed dozens of staff, millions of dollars, and partnered on several CIHR grants.
- was accepted into two PhD programs

Why am I letting one failure in an otherwise excellent career hold me back?

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