Feb 7, 2010

Fear (*a personal journal entry)

Today I am afraid that the fatigue will never go away.

I'm afraid that I will always be a heartbeat away from sleep. It comes on me and attacks and there is nothing I can do but succome to it's force.

I wonder if it's depression, but I really don't feel depressed. My mood is actually really good. I feel optimism and anticipation for the work I'm doing. But I am so tired.

Maybe the remains of my sinus infection?
Or a reaction to antibiotics?
Or perhaps my stupidly low ferritin level?

This cycle repeats itself every few months. I get a short while of energy and clarity, only to plummet back into this black hole of fatigue.

I'm afraid my husband, my school, my workplace aren't going to be as accepting this time as they were last year.

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