It's official - my year-long leave of absence has been approved. For the first time since I was a teenager, I find myself both unemployed and out of school.
I actually have nothing to do.
Brilliant Husband and I are beyond fortunate to have a housekeeper/goddess/friend who takes care of us two days a week. This woman is a Godsend; she bakes us homemade gluten-free bread and makes fresh yogurt and jams, she does our laundry and keeps all 4000 square feet of our house clean. Even though I could probably take on more house work with my new-found free time, I am soaking up the wonderfulness of having so much help.
Whether the balance of my symptoms are caused by depression, chronic fatigue syndrome, lupus or narcolepsy; it doesn't change the fact that there are still some things within my control: like sleep, food & exercise. For now I am working on getting myself on to a schedule and working to build my physical strength and endurance. It is a slow crawl right now, but each day gets a little better.
Even though I know that taking time off is the right decision, I still worry that people are going to judge me; that they will think less of me for being at home, or accuse me of being a 'lady of leisure'. I wish that everyone could understand that having time off isn't that great when you aren't feeling well enough to enjoy it. But at the same time, I also know how privileged I am to have this luxury.
This is an interesting time in my life, I've never felt so adrift.
Hey Penelope!
ReplyDeleteThanks for leaving such a sweet comment on my blog. I really wish I lived in Canada right about now and could take more time off with my little one. I could take one more month off work technically, but finances dictate that I head back to work. I'm glad you can take the time you need to take care of you! Don't worry about those who might judge you - they are jealous! hehe Take care! ((hugz))
One of the biggeset lessons I've learned in life is to stop caring what other people think. Do whatever you need to do for your health! And also, please send your housekeeper my way on her days off...?
ReplyDeleteMrs.Nice - Canadians really are fortunate with health benefits, especially our national parental leave policies (yes, men can take time off too). Thanks for the moral support!
ReplyDeleteRed - I totally agree with you. It shouldn't matter what people with think, but I am not sure how to truly, truly stop caring.
I am amazed that our housekeeper even exists, she is so incredible. (I say while enjoying her peanut butter 'Complete Protein Bars')