tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23596822110739245032012-01-26T16:27:07.762-08:00...living the undiagnosed lifePenelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.comBlogger1181100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-16820741928293895292012-01-25T21:20:00.000-08:002012-01-26T15:54:48.804-08:00

I'm not even exaggerating. In the middle of what was supposed to be a 45 minute walk on the treadmill, it hit me like an attack. A sleep attack. If I don't get off this machine right now, I am going to keel over sleeping and kill myself. I get off the machine. Only 14 minutes walking and two minutes running, damn. I get down on the floor. Ok, this isn't so bad...I can do some yoga stretches

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-69289943399606871102012-01-23T11:43:00.000-08:002012-01-26T16:02:12.516-08:00

I have a bug living on the back of my arm; monitoring everything I do for 23 hours a day. Yes, I am under constant surveillance; and I have signed up for this voluntarily. It's a Bodybugg, a small gadget worn on the back of the upper arm that will be counting my calories burned day in and out.  Our physician - knowing how much Brilliant Husband and I like our computer gadgets - has recommended

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-12670323906010076712012-01-22T08:38:00.000-08:002012-01-26T16:01:47.700-08:00

Since yesterday's post was dedicated to my little snow bugs (the Boston Terriers), today I thought I would give equal time to my beautiful Ms Kitty. Ms Kitty has not been feeling her best lately. Actually, while BH and I were on vacation two weeks ago, she took quite ill and required a visit to the emergency veterinarian. She was diagnosed with a bladder infection and given 21 days of

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-45211055092692228922012-01-21T13:11:00.000-08:002012-01-26T16:01:27.601-08:00

Even though my dogs are usually happiest curled up in front of the fireplace on cold winter days, we thought they could use some activity. Sooo...we bundled them up in their new tartan coats and to the off-leash dog park we went! As you can see, this activity was a hit, especially with Vinny (the flying dog); while his little brother found running in the snow just a little more challenging.

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-66085710951930141982012-01-19T17:32:00.001-08:002012-01-25T21:22:56.761-08:00

Throughout the past few years, while I've been fighting the mystery illness, the only doctor I've felt has been on my side has been my psychiatrist. I find it ironic that the only physician to advocate a physiological explanation for my symptoms is my psychiatrist, while the internal medicine specialists have brushed me off and made me feel like: a) a hypochondriac b) a malingerer c) suffering

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-69474920062307245252012-01-16T07:38:00.000-08:002012-01-16T07:42:08.327-08:00

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-84703105935513064192012-01-12T08:03:00.000-08:002012-01-12T18:05:33.720-08:00

Actually, I'm in St. Kitts, but close enough...and, amazingly, wonderfully & surprisingly - I feel GRRreat!!!Swimming, lazing about, snorkeling, eating delicious fish, making Vitamin D, what more could I ask for.

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-42874713469439209882012-01-09T03:14:00.000-08:002012-01-09T04:08:47.141-08:00

Hello and Happy New Year!Sorry for the hiatus, but when I'm not feeling well, I hate talking about it, even on my blog, which I created so that I could talk about it...When you last heard from me, I was in Florida with my family. I did my best to keep up with everyone, but it was a slog. Shopping trips were cut short so I could get back to the condo to nap, swimming (which started strong) fell

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-88590722712893495412011-10-09T07:27:00.000-07:002011-10-09T08:39:31.175-07:00

My detour from a career in medicine started early...actually, there was no detour; I was never on that path in the first place. Nope. I started out on a different route. I wanted to be a (don't laugh) star.And I was actually off to a decent start. At the age of 17, I was recruited by a New York City modeling agency. While my friends were getting ready for prom, I was running around Manhattan in

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-57472722120599201902011-10-07T13:48:00.000-07:002011-10-07T14:03:24.943-07:00

As the days have been getting shorter, my mood is falling slightly. Also, my recent Vitamin D test showed significant deficiency. I love my psychiatrist; he tells me to up my Vit D to 2000 IU/day....then he stops and says "Why don't you just go to sunnier climate for a few weeks?"I cannot change Canadian weather, so I am packing up and heading south; this is one of the few times I will not argue

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-76035974875263243292011-09-30T08:16:00.000-07:002012-01-26T16:00:27.804-08:00

In my quest to feel useful last week, I decided to tackle our garden. The beautiful summer weather had turned my manicured lines of day-lillies into a small jungle. With help from my mother (who is over 70 years old!), I spent hours digging up, clipping and splitting day-lilly plants. It was physical work, do doubt, but it didn't seem too onorous. ...until the next morning. HOLY CRUMBS. I have

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-37342666563408085562011-09-21T17:37:00.000-07:002012-01-26T16:01:08.650-08:00

It's official - my year-long leave of absence has been approved. For the first time since I was a teenager, I find myself both unemployed and out of school. I actually have nothing to do.  Brilliant Husband and I are beyond fortunate to have a housekeeper/goddess/friend who takes care of us two days a week. This woman is a Godsend; she bakes us homemade gluten-free bread and makes fresh

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-44239701872341434992011-09-02T11:35:00.000-07:002012-01-26T16:00:42.833-08:00

Yesterday, my puppy (ok, he's 3 years old, but he'll always be my 'puppy') was acting a little bit off. Something about his usual peppy step was just a little slower than usual. While taking a short break from tug-of-war with his brother, he did something very odd: Puppy started to shake. His eyes rolled up into his head and moved about in a flickering sort of motion. It lasted only

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-37460990531392394602011-08-27T17:16:00.000-07:002012-01-26T15:59:55.130-08:00

This is how I feel on Modafinil*! ...and this is how I feel the day after Modafinil. * Modafinil is also known as Provigil

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-13687078753245988702011-08-22T13:20:00.000-07:002011-08-22T20:32:54.974-07:00

Penelope, Montana, 2003. Rock climbing used to be my passion. Five nights a week I could be found in the climbing gym, working the walls and bouldering until my wrists trembled. I have dreamed of being back on the wall, and this past Saturday, I made that dream come true. Baby steps. A 5.6 route at the most...but I made it halfway up. I used to nail 5.10a routes and hang upside down in the

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-875652783152207482011-07-17T07:38:00.001-07:002011-07-17T07:52:20.001-07:00

After months of debating whether I should quit the program, look for a new advisor, or soldier on, I've made a decision: I'm taking some time off to think about my future.Grant you, this probably sounds like indecision, but for me it is an accomplishment. I took a deep breath and told my advisors that I will not be pursuing the thesis that they had signed off on back in April. I need to work on

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-14824802008176188472011-06-27T20:39:00.000-07:002011-06-27T20:47:55.615-07:00

Serenity Now, I won't miss you."BECAUSE OF CERTAIN IDIOTS OUT THERE THAN ARE TOO SENSITIVE....THIS BLOG ENDS ASAP. I AM PUTTING SOME MINI RANTS BELOW OF THINGS I WANTED TO BLOG IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, BUT IT HAS TO END NOW. SO READ QUICK WE ALWAYS SAID IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE SHIT WE WRITE, THEN DON'T READ IT. FOR THOSE OF YOU SENSITIVE PUSSY'S OUT THERE THREATENING TO "FIND MY IDENTITY" AND

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-12801148697666834932011-06-22T10:08:00.001-07:002011-06-22T10:14:03.292-07:00

I almost called my lab results correctly...all normal except for:ANA - 1:640Ferritin - 26 (normal reference 80-300)Why is my ferritin so low?Does this explain my relentless sleepiness?Obviously eating gluten-free for the past five months hasn't improved my absorption. I am so sick of my life being defined by illness. I wish more than anything that I could just have my health back.

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-11160199621597900442011-06-14T14:56:00.000-07:002011-06-14T15:04:04.590-07:00

I saw my doctor yesterday and told him how feelings of anxiety and depression were creeping up on me again. He raised my antidepressants and ordered a long list of blood work.Did I mention that I hate 12 hour fasts? I love breakfast. Anyhow, I got 10 vials of blood taken this morning and will likely hear back soon if anything is not normal.My prediction:Normal labs for all except ANAThe doctor

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-3467946967862216852011-06-10T19:47:00.001-07:002011-06-10T20:05:48.058-07:00

I've been feeling blue the past few days...detached and unmotivated. Last night I talked to BH about my worry that depression was back. Did I mention that BH is a problem solver?Last night, while I slept, "Hello Kitty" invaded our house. Hiding by the lamp, under the flowerpots, next to the stove, by my toothbrush were tiny little Hello Kitty figures. Like an Easter egg hunt, I turned the house

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-25128215908102100222011-06-08T13:09:00.001-07:002012-01-26T15:59:04.596-08:00

My polysomnographic study (sleep study) was not nearly as restful as this... Did you know that a sleep study requires quite a bit of monitoring? Between EEG wires glued into the hair, ECG leads glued to the chest, wires attached to the legs to monitor for restlessness, wires in the nose to capture breathing and a pulse oximeter on the finger, it is not easy to pretend you are home in your

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-64566476173243453932011-06-07T12:08:00.000-07:002012-01-26T15:59:32.817-08:00

Looks like my little pink line was just an evaporation... nothing to explain the sleep marathon I've been running the past few weeks. Lately I've been useless. I can't concentrate worth shit and am falling behind on all of my work. I sleep outrageous amounts of time and can hardly keep my eyes open when I'm awake. Maybe this is depression? Perhaps some of it is fallout from my advisor's

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-8964334917916446642011-06-04T12:13:00.001-07:002012-01-26T15:48:01.276-08:00

I'm not actually "late" yet, so chances are that this is just an evaporation line; but it would go some way to explaining the bizarre attacks of sleep I keep having. Brilliant Husband says you get what you pay for (in this case, $1.25) and that perhaps I should buy a test from somewhere other than Dollerama. I'll do that in a few days...

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-61013716566499086632011-05-31T06:07:00.000-07:002012-01-26T15:48:39.216-08:00

The past few days I have slept nearly non-stop around the clock - waking up only to complete the most crucial life functions...like eating. My body hurts in ways that make no sense. My elbows hurt. My legs ache. I feel like I completed an Ironman and then lost a few rounds in the boxing ring. Walking from the kitchen to the bed I am short of breath and dizzy. I hit the mattress and find

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-28718754487373171962011-05-29T05:29:00.000-07:002011-05-29T05:54:16.906-07:00

One of the HUGE benefits of my life with Brilliant Husband is the ability to travel with him to wonderful locations and stay in some of the nicest hotels.A week ago, we were in Geneva for a conference in which he was a keynote speaker. We stayed at the amazingly gorgeous Hotel Kempinski located along the shoreline of Lake Geneva. The picture above was snapped on the balcony where we had breakfast

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-1647191590656611352011-05-09T20:23:00.000-07:002011-05-10T14:49:55.541-07:00

I can be overly sensitive, even when I know it's not rational...which happened yesterday during our Mothers Day celebration.DH and I had a lovely gathering for our moms for cake. Joining us were our close friends who have a six-month-old baby. I realize that dogs are not children, but since we don't have children, I tend to think of our dogs as 'my babies'. However the "real baby's" mom comes

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-9100831983554191092011-05-03T09:34:00.000-07:002011-05-03T10:12:34.024-07:00

Like most Canadians, I didn't see the need for yet another federal election...(this being our fourth in 7 years!) I was fine with a Conservative minority government (held on a tight leash by the Liberal opposition and the NDP). No one seemed upset with the status quo except for the delusional Liberals who triggered the election six weeks ago.As I surveyed the field of candidates, I found them all

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-44763213294598590632011-04-28T10:20:00.001-07:002011-04-28T10:34:07.635-07:00

I've been holding off posting about this, because I was afraid it was temporary, but given that I'm now at 4 weeks, I am going to share my news: I am feeling well!It sounds so simple, and yet the difference between how I'm feeling today vs. how I've been feeling for the past few years is so radical that it defies description.What does a well person do that an ill person can't?decide to walk the

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-48298946915798603252011-04-16T19:14:00.001-07:002011-04-16T19:36:38.776-07:00

After our whirlwind month of March (DH successfully defended his thesis), I accompanied my brilliant husband on a short trip to Holland, where he was launching his new book. What an amazing trip. I spent my days wandering the streets and canals, taking pictures and sipping cappuccino at sidewalk cafes.Being gluten free in Holland is surprisingly easy, the hotel concierge called ahead to book

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-18861232081686639592011-04-06T14:05:00.000-07:002012-01-26T15:58:29.912-08:00

My thesis proposal was approved today. At last. It is good news, but was delivered with a spoonful of bitter advice. "Stop being so whiny, Penelope", my Advisor told me. "You drain the oxygen out of all your relationships when you mention your illness". Good to know, I didn't realize that I was causing O2 issues for the folks on my committee!

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-24974951744055193362011-03-05T23:06:00.001-08:002011-03-09T14:15:22.114-08:00

I woke up this afternoon (after 12 hours of sleep) feeling refreshed and kind of...happy?The sight of 100+ student papers sitting on my desk, waiting to be graded was daunting, but kind of enjoyable too. It is interesting to look at the world through the eyes of a second-year undergraduate student.My dearest husband is nearing the completion of his doctorate and burning the midnight oil to finish

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-84622193521766491702011-03-01T12:19:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:35:12.490-08:00

I don't feel like being a student anymore. There, I've said it.I've given it my best shot this semester, but my heart just isn't in it anymore. It's all I can do to get out of bed most days, and the idea of doing research in my current state is just too much. I was barely keeping my head above water until last week. My mother took ill and so did my cat. Between trips to the veterinarian and waits

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-59672145696779574682011-02-26T10:56:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:19:50.632-08:00

Over the past few years, I have considered the possibility of Lyme disease (LD) as the cause of my problems. Fatigue, body aches, sweats...all come with Lyme territory. The other night I watched an episode of "Mystery ER" (lame, I know...) and saw the story of a woman with exactly my symptoms. I watched riveted - is it possible that this could be what's wrong with me? After years of losing her

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-63974712997435451532011-02-23T08:35:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:05:59.529-08:00

I saw another doctor yesterday. This time an ENT.I told him about the headaches, the brain fog, the sleepiness, fatigue...and the constant pain around my eyes (sinus area). He said my sinuses looked great on my recent MRI (I love electronic health records). And then he asked me if I have ever been evaluated for obstructive sleep apnea. Apparently, it could account for ALL of my symptoms.Sleep

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-65290379720813427992011-02-22T11:31:00.001-08:002012-01-26T15:58:11.622-08:00

For the past week I have been in a hypersomnolent trance. I have come to realize that the word 'fatigue' doesn't do any justice to what I am experiencing. Have you ever taken Benadryl or Gravol? Any medication which induces sleep that you just cannot fight? That's what I am feeling. Last week, I was too sleepy to take care of myself or my animals. I packed up my bags and my pets and moved

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-2511263264033881622011-02-13T10:50:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:14:37.942-08:00

So...a while back I went to see a high-risk obstetrician to consult on the possibility of pregnancy. It has been almost four years since I miscarried and my mid-thirties turned into my late-thirties. Quick health review:- 3 antidepressants (since major depression following miscarriage)- factor V leiden - hypothyroidism- AMA (advanced maternal age)The specialist told me that my psychiatrist had

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-62317252356632574432011-02-05T13:34:00.001-08:002011-03-09T14:15:59.372-08:00

For you wonderful folks who follow this blog, I'm sorry to have left you hanging on the outcome of my last doctor's appointment. The results are in and....-drum roll-*MRI was negative for demyelination = not MS.I know I should be over the moon that I don't have MS, (and believe me, I really am happy not to have it), but that leaves me with No Diagnosis. Or worse, the non-diagnosis of Fibromylagia

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-56352132689988513872011-01-30T08:33:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:52:53.739-08:00

I was raised to address people by their last names until invited to call them by their first names. In university, I always called my instructors "Professor" or "Doctor" unless invited to do otherwise.In written correspondence, I refer to a person as Mr./Ms. /Mrs./Dr. (unless or until they sign their message with their first name, in which case I understand this to be an invitation to refer to

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-45095177067127531882011-01-25T04:43:00.001-08:002011-03-09T14:16:24.867-08:00

I am meeting with my specialist this afternoon to learn the results of the MRI and I am nervous.At this point, I don't know which scares me more: actually getting a diagnosis or no diagnosis at all?This will be my third specialist opinion. When I first met this physician, she asked me if all the tests came back negative, would I accept that there is "no diagnosis"? Or accept a diagnosis of "

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-22458385155794246992011-01-24T07:41:00.001-08:002011-03-09T14:54:05.966-08:00

I have a love affair with gluten products: toasty bagels, tasty crumpets, little bundles of mini-wheats are part of what gets me out of bed in the morning.That's why I cringed when my Internal Medicine Specialist suggested that I try a gluten-free diet. While my blood tests did not indicate Celiac, my physician told me that many of her patients improve on a gluten-free diet, even if their blood

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-6028191794884428202011-01-21T10:25:00.000-08:002011-01-21T11:05:49.837-08:00

Last week I had an MRI as part of a work-up to rule out MS. Today I emailed my physician's office to request a copy of the MRI report in advance of my next appointment. (Having my information in advance helps to prepare me for the tone of the appointment and allows me to formulate my questions in advance. In other words, it is very important to me.)"I'm sorry, but I will have to ask the doctor

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-69691679539633507692011-01-18T06:21:00.000-08:002011-01-18T06:29:38.351-08:00

I wrote a few weeks ago that my mother experienced a stroke-like event that may have been a TIA or a migraine.Despite completing a "bubble test" (to listen for a hole in her heart), and wearing a Holter monitor (to rule out fibrillation), neither test showed a clear diagnosis. We were surprised when the stroke specialist felt strongly that she had experienced TIAs, and not migraines (as was

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-67730528468752315842011-01-13T08:34:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:58:23.008-08:00

Back from holidays - what a glorious trip! I snorkelled with stingrays and spent as much time as possible outside in the shade enjoying the pool. What a difference a little health makes!I returned home to some interesting blood lab results. My ANA is still 1:640, but my ENA is negative, ESR is negative and anti-dsDNA is negative. That's a whole lot of negativity!But there was also something else

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-45997497303863379762010-12-31T09:31:00.000-08:002010-12-31T09:42:14.358-08:00

Here we are again...almost two years have passed since our last visit to Cancun. I'm excited to be here because truthfully, I don't remember much of our first visit.In March of 2009 we vacationed here at one of the lower points of my illness trajectory. I saw much more of our hotel room than I did of the beach. A trip to the ruins just about did me in. I was cranky and tired and sick. Looking

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-46879732481746514342010-12-23T18:39:00.000-08:002011-03-09T15:02:37.579-08:00

Yesterday I learned that my blood type is B positive...I was annoyed that I didn't get an 'A'.

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-19813413429298165262010-12-15T18:52:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:14:21.029-08:00

My mother is nothing like me - she's healthy and active, absolutely full of life (at age 70, she is averaging about 7,000 steps a day on her pedometer!), so it was unusual to get an emergency phone call regarding her health.It started with her having a terrible headache behind her eye. Next came a feeling of extreme heat followed by difficulty speaking (she thought that she was making sense, but

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-8244214715590922792010-12-11T12:50:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:04:44.490-08:00

I saw my third internal medicine specialist this week. My PCP, prompted by my recent high ANA level, decided my case was worthy of another look.After taking a detailed history, the specialist told me that she didn't think my symptoms sounded like lupus, she said they made her consider MS. Holy crap.I have only known two people with MS, one spent two decades in a nursing home, the other spent most

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-79480255348452996332010-12-07T06:04:00.001-08:002011-03-09T14:36:55.679-08:00

This is my back deck. We are having a very big winter storm today. The city has been shut down and trust, our front driveway looks much like the back.What a perfect time to decorate the Christmas tree and curl up by the fire with a warm mug of coffee...

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-76808581977712195242010-12-06T14:45:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:57:52.698-08:00

Since my last post on pregnancy, I have seen the "high risk obstetrician", my PCP, and the "paediatric pharmacologist" to get input on the advisability of pregnancy.Interestingly, the biggest risk factor seems to be my blood clotting disorder, 'Factor V Leiden' (FVL). While it can be managed with daily injections of Low-Molecular-Weight Heparin (LMWH), there seems to be concern that FVL increases

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-79420894003411205562010-12-02T10:28:00.000-08:002010-12-02T10:51:31.097-08:00

I am trying my best to get to the bottom of my symptoms, but I can't do it myself. I need you. I'm pleading with you:Please help me find out what's wrong with me. I miss being able to work, study and rock climb. I miss going out with friends for dinner and drinks on Friday nights. I miss my old life. Something happened between then and now - help me find out what happened.Please don't tell me

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-29707753413984814042010-11-26T10:26:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:10:44.233-08:00

Ahh, my wedding day... Possibly the best 'hair day' of my life.I'm looking back at my pictures, only five years ago and wondering what the heck happened to my hair??For the past few weeks, my hair has been falling out madly: long golden strands linger on every shirt, jacket and pillow case my head has touched.As I start to catch up to my husband's receding hair line (he's bald!), new purchases

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-16085222982829153282010-11-21T13:48:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:15:10.781-08:00

My sweet puppy wasn't feeling so hot last night. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get himself comfortable. Then he vomited. More squirming. Still uncomfortable. This went on for hours.After a lengthy consult with 'Dr. Google, DVM', I decided to keep him in our bed overnight so I could monitor any changes in his status. This morning he seemed to be feeling better. He went outside to

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-60593330394352976162010-11-19T09:41:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:13:02.783-08:00

Time to focus on the positive. My life is full of wonderful, happy moments that don't seem to make it into my blog often enough. This is my cat. She has been with me for eight years since I adopted her from a shelter. She rescued me. I love her and her and her trance-like stare. Her purr has magic sleep-inducing properties. Today I am grateful for my precious cat.

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-11685094716029873622010-11-12T21:33:00.000-08:002012-01-26T15:57:21.367-08:00

How tired am I? Can't even put it into words.

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-25490513382193336972010-11-09T14:21:00.000-08:002010-11-17T10:43:34.812-08:00

When I first started feeling ill, my psychiatrist wondered if I might have Lupus. While my mood responded to antidepressants; the constant fatigue, fevers, chills, migraines and brain fog led him to think that there was more going on than a psychiatric issue.He tested my ANA and found it positive 1:160 Referred to Rheumatologist. Disaster. She didn't want to test me further because I was a

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-62583503306834637562010-11-07T08:46:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:18:44.297-08:00

Can anyone explain to me why some physicians are belittling, condescending, and obnoxious towards certain groups of patients?Today's lack of empathy in medicine comes from ERP, who has chosen to vent his hostility on what he calls "Nutty Patients". He rants about how much he hates to give them a "real" diagnosis (such as Lyme Disease, Lupus, Crohn's) because:"These diagnoses are like crack to

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-810893219635327812010-10-27T10:35:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:17:34.406-08:00

I sent my thesis outline to my advisors last night. It shouldn't have been a big deal - just a sketch of my plans to get our conversation started...and yet...I could not start writing.After reading over 200 articles on my topic, I'm a walking library on physician-patient relationships - but I am terrified to put my thoughts to paper.Why?Because I failed before. I received an F on a paper I did in

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-48891204743241245102010-10-20T11:47:00.001-07:002011-03-09T14:19:34.498-08:00

I recently came across this article, "the other side of the speculum" in Canadian Family Physician, written last year by a then 3rd year medical student, Brent Thoma. Under the heading of "Reflections", Thoma discusses his distain for the "horrible ritual" of the pap smear. [hint: it is not more enjoyable on the woman's side of the speculum, FYI]In the article, Thoma describes his distain for

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-87398773703530713302010-10-19T16:44:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:17:06.595-08:00

Sometimes, when I have almost forgotten what it feels like to be healthy, I wake up to a good day.Today was a GREAT day.Shoulder pain - gone!Migraine - none!Fatigue - nope!Brain fog - nope, complete clarity!Driving downtown tonight - my ipod blaring Atomic* - I realized that if feeling this well and energetic could be bottled, I would be an addict. It was bliss.*Atomic by Blondie, from Eat to the

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-82288740523221155492010-10-16T20:40:00.000-07:002010-10-16T20:51:39.333-07:00

My thesis outline is overdue and I'm stuck. The ideas are not flowing. My brain is feeling foggy again.The pain from my shoulder is driving me insane. Nothing seems to soothe it. I can't focus on the lit review when my head hurts if it moves in any direction. So...is this depression rearing its ugly head again? Now the days are getting shorter, its a worry for me.I feel like I need more direction

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-25696425870522474942010-10-13T08:33:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:38:36.734-08:00

I woke up three days ago with the most awful, stabbing pain in my upper right arm - lil' miss shoulder pain had arrived for another visit. She literally took my breath away. The back of my arm down to my elbow was numb. I will never forget the first time she inflicted me with her presence - it was about 8:00 am, the morning of September 11, 2001. Shortly before I turned on my television and found

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-32659748537996678222010-09-21T13:15:00.000-07:002010-09-21T13:35:02.251-07:00

Three years and a half years have passed since the miscarriage. Over that time we have dealt with my post-miscarriage depression, my post-Mirena depression, and a lengthy 'mystery' illness that still remains elusive, although somewhat improved.All of this time, we have been waiting for my health to get better so that we could try one more time for a baby. Last year I was advised to wait until I

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-14532831297161007412010-09-18T12:00:00.000-07:002010-09-18T12:43:42.092-07:00

Three years ago I miscarried at 12 wks - an awful event that I documented in this blog post, in which I explored the psychological turmoil that surrounded my pregnancy loss. What I didn't write about at that time was the physical experience of the miscarriage. It was long and painful. Yesterday, a post at one of my favourite medblogs "ER Stories", (where 'ERP' writes about life in the emergency

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-23342136530337322392010-09-17T09:58:00.000-07:002010-09-17T12:10:00.160-07:00

Last year I posted about my unfortunate experience with the Mirena IUD triggering depression. I recently looked at the traffic report for this site and realized that 90% of people who visit my blog get here by searching for "Mirena +IUD +Depression".I still don't think there is enough information in the public domain about the risks of Mirena re-triggering depression in women with a history of

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-33872911101518851832010-09-09T18:36:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:46:35.587-08:00

The weather seemed to change overnight. Fall is in the air and it's time to get back to school. This term I am supposed to complete my comprehensive exams - eek! I think I'm ready, but there is a little part of me that would like to do more coursework...mostly just to buy more time. The good news is that my research is on track and for the first time in forever, I am actually feeling well. [

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-36875843215023195102010-09-06T15:25:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:20:38.645-08:00

You may recall a few months ago I saw an Internist who discussed the possibility of a diagnosis of fibromyalgia with me...I was not impressed.I just asked for a copy of her report to my family physician and was shocked to find the following statement "I have diagnosed this patient with fibromyalgia". WTF??When we discussed fibromyalgia during my appointment, she seemed to agree with me that it

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-68514900583163767482010-09-03T08:45:00.000-07:002010-09-04T11:08:57.094-07:00

My ferritin is low. It used to be a measly "8", now it's in the low 20s. Despite numerous investigations, no one is quite sure why my ferritin isn't rising since I have been supplementing for over two years now.One of my physicians assures me that low ferritin does not cause fatigue if other blood tests do not indicate anemia.My research has found conflicting information. But the fact is, I am

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-32093826136213112302010-08-22T07:08:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:30:18.706-08:00

Fatigue is a common complaint of women in their 30's. When a woman presents with this routine symptom, she will be likely first be assessed for the 'usual suspects', such as:- hypothyroid- anemia- pregnancy- B12 deficiency- diabetesNo answers there? Let's move on to the next possible culprits...- sleep apnea- depression- autoimmune diseaseBut what if all these tests fail to reveal an obvious

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-52013796408886100872010-04-15T08:37:00.000-07:002010-08-14T08:05:42.616-07:00

I always thought that I didn't get an aura before my migraines. I was actually a little jealous of the people who got flashing lights, zig-zags, and a host of other interesting "heads-up" symptoms that a migraine was on its way.The other day I realized that about 20 minutes before the start of my headaches, I get a hard to describe "prickly", "pins and needles", "electric" kind of feeling from my

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-31621532086829622352010-04-14T13:15:00.000-07:002010-08-16T20:00:55.699-07:00

A visting scholar, Dr. Arno Kumagai from the University of Michigan Medical School gave a fascinating presentation to our faculty a few weeks ago.Dr. Kumagai is the director of an innovative program for first-year medical students called the "Family Centred Experience", where students are matched for a year with families dealing with chronic illness. At the end of the year, the students create

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-50377555336819310622010-04-11T20:52:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:09:37.043-08:00

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-90526880909614449112010-04-08T06:27:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:39:25.525-08:00

Fibromyalgia.I saw an Internist yesterday about why I don't seem to ever feel 100% well. After reviewing my symptoms (constant low-grade fever, feeling flu-like ever few weeks, horrible fatigue), she mentioned that some of my concerns sounded like fibromyalgia. I worry that if I get stuck with the "f"-word, it will undermine my efforts to find out what really is wrong with me. My main issue

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-91410151995049882942010-03-20T07:33:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:57:08.862-08:00

While it feels sometimes like all I do is critique our medical system, I have to say this: when they get it right, they really get it right.Two weeks ago, I lost a dear member of my family. That day came too soon for us. What started out as a simple bladder infection turned to sepsis in a matter of hours. When it was clear that her situation had become grave, the staff in the ER could not have

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-72282291753428727722010-03-15T12:52:00.000-07:002010-08-16T20:05:27.418-07:00

While working on a literature review on medicine and power, I came across this unfortunate quote. I really, really hope that this is not the general opinion of physicians, but I am curious what others think..."I think that our working relationships [Between ICU doctors and nurses - ETA] are very forward—we are all part of the team—if the doctor isn’t there it fails, and if the nurse isn’t there,

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-74268161569368111612010-02-07T16:24:00.000-08:002011-03-09T15:00:01.652-08:00

Today I am afraid that the fatigue will never go away.I'm afraid that I will always be a heartbeat away from sleep. It comes on me and attacks and there is nothing I can do but succome to it's force.I wonder if it's depression, but I really don't feel depressed. My mood is actually really good. I feel optimism and anticipation for the work I'm doing. But I am so tired.Maybe the remains of my

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-44646979198863789322010-02-02T10:23:00.000-08:002010-02-02T10:50:13.816-08:00

I read this article in the Globe and Mail (one of Canada's two large national news papers) and was aghast. Medical students doing pelvic exams on unconscious women without consent?! After contacting some friends who would know more than I do about this, I am feeling somewhat assured that Mr. Picard may have overstated the problem. Still, there is a problem. This really shouldn't be happening at

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-38690079237923311372010-02-01T09:36:00.000-08:002011-01-21T11:04:52.047-08:00

Dear Dr. Whatever,I appreciate that you are filling in for my regular family physician. I understand that you probably do things a little differently than she does; but your practice leaves a few things to be desired.Despite that you have all of my medical records electronically, I didn't make a big deal over filling out all of your paperwork, with medical history, medications and allergies. If

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-60581917776223000882010-01-31T19:26:00.000-08:002012-01-26T15:55:43.303-08:00

Ever heard the REM song "Get Up"? I am living it right now. After months of feeling great, the past few days I am like a zombie. I could close my eyes and fall asleep at just about any time. The past few days I had to lie down and take a nap mid-day (about 2 hours) because if I didn't, I was going to fall asleep standing up. It is like a bloody sleep attack. I'm sleeping well at night, using my

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-87764144496941933562010-01-26T08:35:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:48:03.432-08:00

How hard can it possibly be to diagnose hypothyroidism? Let me share with you my journey...Primary Care Physician:1. Patient books appointment with family doctor to discuss weight gain, heart palpitations & fatigue.2. Doctor orders TSH test3. Doctor tells patient that their TSH is within the "normal range" of 0.5 - 5.0 (no mention that TSH has changed from 1.9 to 4.8 since last testOpinion:

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-75005967190744267802010-01-23T11:05:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:41:26.336-08:00

When I started this blog, I didn't have a vision for what I wanted to say. Which voice would author this blog?The frustrated patient fighting an invisible illness?The PhD student who studies politics and power in the Canadian health system?Or perhaps the voice of the 'former-health-system-administrator' would come through?As it happened, none of the things I hoped to say were coming out clearly

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-78929308941513551792009-12-24T09:35:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:41:57.064-08:00

Dear Friends in the Blogisphere,Merry Christmas to you all! I hope that the holidays and the New Year are full of good times and good health for you and your families.Thanks for all the wonderful reading and the support you've all been this year. I will update soon, but I'm feeling better than I have in a long time.Happy holidays!Penelope

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-6837735756493731892009-04-26T10:40:00.001-07:002012-01-26T15:56:20.991-08:00

Well....it looks like my attempt to become a runner again is going to take a lot longer than planned. I lasted less than 30 seconds running the other day and had to settle for a walk instead :( Less than half a minute! I used to be able to run for over an hour.

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-79566904226869091902009-04-22T08:09:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:45:33.474-08:00

Great news! My test results are back and I do not seem to have an autoimmune disease.After a two-hour evaluation in the 'big city' nearby, the mood disorder specialist agreed with my psychiatrist that I am a "difficult diagnosis". I have no history of mania, but never really respond to antidepressants fully. Unipolar depression? Bipolar? Not depression at all? My main issue is fatigue, but hard

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-38639388263285669132009-04-09T12:56:00.000-07:002009-04-11T22:41:27.765-07:00

I was listening to CBC's "Q" this morning with host Jian Ghomeshi, as he commented on his attempt at an interview with Billy Bob Thornton yesterday.While I applaud the work that Mr. Thornton has done to raise awareness of mental health, I suggest that he take some time to work on his own issues.I was disgusted by his immaturity and lack of respect for the interviewer, his band mates, and Canada

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-87665764469876640652009-04-08T12:03:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:49:01.518-08:00

With my recent spat of headaches, I've found that all of my family and friends have been very kind and helpful...this morning, my cat joined in too!I woke up today with kitty on my pillow, 'kneading' my head. It was just like a massage - with claws!

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-48387205929871876332009-04-07T12:56:00.000-07:002011-03-09T15:04:38.090-08:00

One of the aspects of being a patient that many take for granted is their relative anonymity. In many Canadian provinces, we work in a health "system", which means that in any one geographic area (around 1 million pop) all of the hospitals, long-term care facilities, health service providers, mental health & often public health services are part of the same organization. One organization I worked

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-29414513871561697152009-04-04T23:48:00.000-07:002011-03-09T15:05:01.504-08:00

It was a good morning. My puppies curled up next to me on the couch as I sipped my coffee. My husband was still sleeping soundly in bed next to the cat. And there was no headache. No headache at all.With the sun streaming through the window, I felt alive for the first time in weeks. I actually wanted to go outside. How long has it been since I took the dogs for a walk? Months?When all of us were

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-55608038367919288212009-04-03T15:24:00.000-07:002011-03-09T15:01:19.581-08:00

If your head CT report concluded: "mild frontal atrophy"..."perhaps related to condition" (what condition?), would you feel concerned?Apparently not, according to my new internist. Good news, I suppose, but still...brain and atrophy aren't words I want in the same sentence!

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-44855716368261673532009-04-02T19:15:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:22:08.518-08:00

I saw the Internist today. What a letdown. No answers yet. Of course, I knew that she wouldn't be able to tell what is wrong with me with one visit, but I was so hopeful that there would be an answer in sight.She is doing more blood work and told me my thyroid is enlarged and my cortisol levels are low (adrenal fatigue, anyone?)...I will get my blood taken tomorrow, but won't get the results for

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-7028072936404069312009-03-31T10:40:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:21:32.679-08:00

I know that my friends are well meaning and have nothing but my best interest at heart. However, I have been a little surprised lately by some of the suggestions I've received from them about my health.Here are some recent ailments that I have been advised of:Adrenal Fatigue - although my levels are well within normal, I am told that "western" medicine lab tests are not sensitive enough to pick

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-37669500245489668242009-03-31T06:25:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:38:03.497-08:00

After weeks of tapering Celexa, I finally reached zero last weekend. And while I still have two other antidepressants floating around in me, my personality seems to have shifted. I have become angry and agitated.What scares me most is that I no longer know the "real me". Without the meds, am I really an angry person? Or is the "real me" when I'm on the meds?I feel totally overwhelmed.

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-11623154451440397712009-03-30T18:30:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:43:51.302-08:00

Eight days of a constant migraine headache1 broken central vacuum requiring service call1 broken nearly-new washing machine (warranty expired) requiring service call1 broken floor vacuum cleaner (beyond repair)1 outdoor hose frozen and broken requiring service call2 dogs, 1 tearing the house to shreds (he's a puppy, I have a headache)1 paper left to finish1 presentation left to present1 missed

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-78309193365902411732009-03-30T14:06:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:26:20.114-08:00

I came across this article today on Salon that caught my eye. It seems that one of the most reputable journals of medicine, the JAMA, is angry at a 'whistleblower' who pointed out a potential conflict of interest.The article states that Dr. Johnathan Leo - a professor with the Lincoln Memorial University in Texas - noticed that the author of an article published in JAMA about Lexapro failed to

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-24664193228519122812009-03-27T19:09:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:52:22.154-08:00

Why do some health care providers feel that they are entitled to force their patients to keep unwanted Mirena IUDs?I recently came across a blog post from a NP where she vents her annoyance about removing a recently inserted Mirena from a patient who was concerned about the side effects. The majority of the comments she received are almost more disturbing than the original post itself. Tales like

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-53964851459352363842009-03-25T14:27:00.000-07:002009-03-25T14:50:06.616-07:00

I'm scared.For the past few years, I have tried to hang in and be a 'good patient' as a host of symptoms started to steal away my life.Only a few years ago I was a busy health professional with an enjoyable career. I worked out regularly, did yoga three times a week, went out for dinner with friends, performed in a band, went rock climbing in the mountains...Now I am a student on an LOA who

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-10976666575972423822009-03-24T09:53:00.000-07:002009-03-24T10:25:58.577-07:00

As I mentioned a few posts ago, I will be seeing a Rheumatologist soon to discuss the possibility of an autoimmune disease being at the core of some of my health challenges.To prepare for my coming appointment, I decided to write up my medical history.I learned that I have three "rare diseases", as classified by the NIH Office of Rare Diseases ResearchWolff Parkinson White Syndrome 1 - 1,000 

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-74846711018065351922009-03-18T16:07:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:51:56.383-08:00

Last summer I was finally starting to feel better. My energy had increased, my mood was stable, things were finally looking up.My husband and I talked about the possibility of another pregnancy, but the postpartum depression was still too vivid in our minds to risk again. Still, we weren't ready to give up 100% on the idea of a future baby. I visited my doctor to discuss an IUD (as I have clotted

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-62713071885078943642009-03-16T13:34:00.000-07:002011-03-09T15:03:23.939-08:00

Two years ago this week I conceived. I found this out from my manicurist. While painting my toenails one day, she said to me "You're pregnant". How she could tell, I will never know, but she was right. I had never really known if I wanted children, and given a history of clotting disorders, wasn't sure it was even well-advised. Nonetheless, I was excited and did everything 'by the book'. No

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-7565660832161781052009-03-15T22:33:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:50:01.911-08:00

I've never been much of a "sun person". While others are lying on the beach soaking up the rays, I am covered up with hat, towel, sun umbrella and 45+SPF lotion looking for a nearby palm tree for shade. Despite taking precautions, it isn't easy to avoid the sun on a Mexican beach holiday...so the past few days I decided to lotion up and get outside to enjoy the weather.Sun day #1 - Migraine, had

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359682211073924503.post-64306202447250575602009-03-14T22:24:00.000-07:002011-03-09T14:28:18.750-08:00

So you might ask how someone who has now been on holiday since mid-February could possibly have a bad day?I think it's being tired , as I was up at 6:30 am to go visit the Mayan ruins this morning. Lately it's been hard to fall asleep. I notice that when I'm tired, I am cranky and often teary. Sometimes it is easy to mistake it for depression, but it usually resolves with a good nap.My fatigue

Penelopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092060348938570183noreply@blogger.com4